Life is an unknown adventure. I have been dancing and teaching dance for 30 years, practicing Bhakti yoga for 20 years, and Hatha Yoga for 10. It has been an incredible path of self-discovering and healing for me all together. I was always very attracted to Mantra meditation and Kirtan, and it became one of my favorite practices even though I think I’m not good enough and I don’t know what I’m doing, I’m still doing because I feel released and energized with an open heart.
We are working on a new album and when I came up with the lyrics for the Sunshine of Your Heart, I was dancing and jumping, and it was fun and easy. When the time came to sing and record I could not. Tears and tears started to pour down. I was blocked and stuck. I saw myself crying and suffering. I lost my balance, and of course I was aching to stop and runaway as usual when I feel scared.
At this time instead, with help and support from my other half and incredible partner, Benjamin, I took a deep breath and pushed through. For over 4 hours I repeated and repeated the mantra. As I was trying to sing, thoughts and images of my grandmaststarted to pop up, and didn't stop. At first I didn’t get it… then I saw, she was my angel, friend, Diva and Spiritual teacher. When she passed, many years ago, she was in the hospital and I didn’t see her there. I felt so much guilt. I was very young and my loss was devastating and very painful. Only now, after 35 years, through that experience I could see the wound printed on my heart. I miss her so much and I could not have forgiven myself.
So, I allowed myself to experience this tired pain deep in my heart by accepting and embracing it. Through this transformational moment of singing the mantra, repeatedly, I could recognize and appreciate all those emotions. It is all part of me. It is all Holy, the pain and the beauty, faith and doubt, love and hate, the light and the dark. A tremendous release took place and I started to connect deeply to the light and positive energy within and I saw and felt my grandma's sunshine. I saw and felt everyone else sunshine. I felt open to explore, to learn and reconnect.
Life is an unknown adventure and yes, I'm still healing, learning and growing. More then ever my heart is open to see and feel the sunshine in all beings everywhere! I hope this simple mantra helps you to reveal the sunshine of your heart.
The Sunshine of your Heart
Music by Benjamin Smielowitz and Radha-Krishna Lila
We are crying, we are dying,
Suffering, somewhere out there,
But, if you come close, you’ll see within,
The sunshine of your heart.❤
Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu / May All Beings Everywhere Be Happy and Free!